Need Some Personal Time Off - from Pregnancy

When I got pregnant,  many friends, family members and colleagues congratulated me on being pregnant. I must admit that when I first heard that I got pregnant, I was filled with excitement, trepidation and fear as a first time mother. I went through mood swings, hormonal changes, body changes, etc; much like many other mothers. I was told that I should enjoy the pregnancy and that many of these mothers missed the experience of being pregnant.

Maybe it's me but will I get be labeled as heartless if I feel I need some time off from being pregnant? Sometimes it can get overwhelming when people seem to expect me to be fully enjoying my whole pregnancy and sometimes I wonder... what happens if I only like the experience of the little one kicking within me and that's about it?

Those who really know me personally well will know that I am someone who can't seem to afford to sit still. It's as if I have ADHD or something. My mind is constantly stimulated by new things and I have questions to ask about several things. If I don't know about something, I will investigate, search for information and such. I may not be as sporty as I am in the past but I will still be literally jumping around and flitting to and fro things that interest me.

And all these have to stop once I became pregnant.

Suddenly, it felt as if my life has come to a standstill. I have to watch out for food and drinks that I eat. Vanity has to take a huge step back (not that I am complaining because it is for the child but I still miss them...) and I can't colour my hair, wear heels, wear clothes that I love for ten months. Conversations, I realise, now revolve around the little one. I suddenly felt clumsy and extremely forgetful. People who are not sure how to handle or behave around a pregnant woman with sudden hormonal changes suddenly become uncomfortable and quiet. I feel tired and irritated extremely easily as well.  Small trivial matters can set me off. Many times, it can be dreary and  smothering as mood swings take a plunge and I have to force myself "to be happy so as not to affect the baby".

More than once, I almost wanted to snap.

As I reached 30 weeks, I cannot stop myself from feeling excited. I am actually counting down to the day when my little one will be born so that I can finally lay my eyes on her - the one my life has come to a standstill for. And yes, I will also admit that I am glad that the pregnancy will be over soon "so I can return to my lifestyle" with the addition of my little one (This is where organisation and proper time management comes into place). While some may tsked-tsked at the seemingly frivolous thinking, I know the time that I will be spending on myself again will allow me to become a  more efficient and self-confident mother in the long run - which will greatly benefit my child.

After all, only a mother who looks after oneself well will feel happier and be a happier parent - and that will have huge implications for the development of our child!